woke up throw down softly

i dream loads now but i still lie in
but for different reasons and kind of the same reason

i need to make breakfast now
and then go on a big walk with a friend

what will we talk about
i don’t want to be boring, i
want to be an asset to the big walk
i want to pull my weight this walk, i want to
pull out the big guns

maybe i can say things like “what
do you want to talk about next”

maybe i can keep telling them how hungry i am
except i won’t be that hungry because i need
to make breakfast now

quick ramble before a hastily made salad aeons beyond bedtime

i see what you did there, yeah
i see what you continue to do there and
taking all into account i see what you
would have done there

but you can’t now cos i’m above the law
and this is off the books yeah it’s
under the counter and
if you don’t like it you can just suck
on my 6-shooter, asshole

my monster (that i pray to)

Fishermen in a Rough Sea

ite now, after some reflection//

i’m tidal/
seismic shifts in mood
autumnal n maybe the heat got to me
beat-myself-up over not-gettin-to
the word doc, no momentum
lacked the magic
brawled myself

and basically i am a massive fucking idiot for
reasons that are too boring to go into and
i never learn from my mistakes and
i am selfish and i am boring

and i guess this is like therapy/
maybe ventin got a hold of me for
reasons that are too boring to go into
so i need to grow up
and mature and focus,

yeah FUCK image
no, WORSHIP it!
let it CONSUME you! from the inside and
leave you EMPTY!

but maybe you think empty’s comfy

i wanna cancel you out
i want to enter as person B
and become person A by default
only logical,
natural

i wanna become person infinity
person hund-o, person sixty-nine
person winkyface/person acronym
the invisible man
the shopkeeper/the quest giver

ornamental/vacant
maybe sometimes i want things to be that simple
maybe i’m closer to ‘that simple’ than i thought i was

/yeah i wanna feel good, fast
wanna be your golden boy/

wanna be good enough for me
*takes a hold of your hand* stay

and i can barely stay on topic at this point
barometer skyrockets/bursts
off the Richter scale/never before seen heights
record numbers
nonsense, U-turns
twists, i slip
and fumble my way around
shuffling around/navigating/illustrating
my point(s) vaguely, in the dark
mumbling, bumbling
grovelling/shying away
what can i say,
mood controlled today

a few ones

650 0072
pic somewhat unrelated
this is a depiction of a meat-market in london

i don’t know who drew it
sue me don’t sue me/you probably can’t sue me
but don’t please
thanks

enjoy




a cheeky1 while someone’s in the room!
cheeky in the distance/corner of my eye
cheeky in the corner/go on and do a cheeky




get riled up and slide into the ring
slide up n freak out cos
it’s all momentum based
for me anyway/i got other things to say



Self(ish) assimilation
verging on narcissism

thinkin about friends meetin friends n
how friends’d get on with each other n
how i called it
how i often want it

thinkin bout how it makes me happy.
i like bringing people together but do i
like bringing people together because
it makes them happy because they like each other now?

or do i like bringing people together because
they like me more now, because that makes me happy?

/scared of the latter but i suppose..
the idea of lining my pockets with
social capital, so-to-speak
walking away/won the day
sneering, popular/the art of the deal

am i scared that i am selfish, am i
ashamed of being selfish, am i
selfish/does it show?
why do people want to be loved/
will i ever know?

the debate consumes itself and myself and
i’m scared that i am selfish (OR i’m
scared of being seen as selfish which is a
not entirely but at least considerably
different poem)
but i guess people who are scared of being selfish
are mostly, likely not,
or most likely, at least less selfish than
(objectively?)selfish people who don’t question
whether or not they are selfish

largely these concerns feel like
time wasted but
maybe one day i’ll learn something




hard to be/to feel authentic when faced with
an infinite, invisible audience

but some people can and relish in it

maybe it’s a culture of narcissism
manifested in content, some depthless
/counter productive

and some genuinely enjoyable/
well crafted

brands scream love me and often
i agree, but often i can’t help but think
it’s bad for souls
behind the brands, and at the same time
i can’t help but feel bad that
i can’t scream good

maybe i’m just jealous