4joey(3(/??)) S L U D G E L I F E

so fuckin hot but i wanna b hotter
searing ambition slowly descaling
while i turn the dial up to the highest setting
n my vision distorts and i begin to melt

happening at last. the need, no
the responsibility
no wait
the it’s my destiny
..to actualise my true, spirit form
the form i was born with, bathed in
but instead i wanted ppl to bathe in me
i want ppl to drink me,
i want to hydrate ppl
i wanna quench thirst, i
wanna melt all the way down
all the way down to liquid human
i wanna be that voice in the water
(human soup will do)

happening indeed, and from what i can see,
i’m a melting stump-pile of viscous sludgy slime
expanding at the base from gradual decline
steaming and smoking (by the way i am fine)
oh and some bits of me are on fire

it’s gross and i hate it but i’m well on my way
i wanna be a vast expanse of liquid one day
i want people to do laps in me
push themselves to the limit in me
break records in me and save lives in me
i want people to explore me
i want people to live off me
i want people to fucking drown in me

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i need to get to that command terminal!
at this point i can only really melt that way
or try to melt faster


it’s working! i can do this!
i’m gonna make it all the way!
i’m gonna wipe out coastal towns!
submerging non believers, i
will swallow masses whole
and they will fear my aching depths


i’m not even human porridge yet
with sweet banana chunks
and cinnamon in the morning
nay! i detest my form more than ever
i’m thick, throbbing, bubbling n steaming
sticky, stuck in muck form, melting and bitty
and chunky, bones too
and i-

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not like this..

the machine shuts down,
the red lights go off, now i’m
sat in this room and it’s getting colder.
and while i consider my form, it dawns on me..
that this IS me. at least for a while
and maybe someone will come and will fix
the machine but maybe they won’t.
or maybe i could get to a hospital and
they could try to put me back together but
i’m not even sure if that’s possible..
or probable considering i cannot move and
considering that i am in great pain.
i weep tears that i want to be
and watch in hope futile
as they fall onto my detestable form
and slowly slide off rejected

this is my life now


4joey(2(/?)) B A T H T I M E

to be bathe to be *bathen*
this brazen display, naked features
refracting underwater where i let it all hang out
bubbles n’ all.

and downstairs the ceiling drips, i feign
unawareness ’cause the stakes are too high
because this bath could save me..
n when i shower i just idly stand
for 15 or so minutes, so i may
as well just lie in this deepish warm water
for longer and longer, i’ve sunk beyond idleness
deep into vacancy, total abandonment
i am detached and wet
and wretched and
who says i can’t eat in my bath?!
i’m not like most! i
have no fear when in the bath
no, my wet fingers will never compromise
any of my goals while bathing
as i bite my soggy breaded chicken, i taste
its cajun bubbles in the bath
and look around in pride as
my rice floats and sinks around me
and we are slowly cooked together

i dread the day i leave this hallowed tub
the day my feet touch an old, cold
damp bathroom rug (2 days from retirement)
and i squelch onto a familiar slippery floor
and stare at my wrinkled naked body –
i’m a prune out the tub! n i drain it
clawing at my water as it slowly drains away –
don’t go dirty water! i’ll find a use for you yet
i’m getting colder so i dip my hands in
and memories come flooding back, then drained by reality
my warm sojourn, my peaceful place
of safety and of calming thoughts
of water chicken and bath rice
evacuates before my eyes
maelstroms are cool but never in this context

4joey (1(?))

tears streaming down my face and out my mouth
i’m a child of regret – i’m embarrassment
cousin o’ shame, i’m a talking point
and i’m naked in mindset, and you can see my lame pants
down and around my ankles while i splutter and stare
longingly in hope

please! won’t someone at least, please just
drape a soft blanket on my naked shoulders
at least my shoulders, i’m
shivering, shuffling towards the exit
won’t someone please take pity as i
shuffle away

friends, past friends and friends to be
family or otherwise, everybody’s family
and everyone is watching you, remembering your
gall, a once-endearing embaressee to be
they were starting to like you
you were starting to like you (damn)