pic somewhat unrelated
this is a depiction of a meat-market in london
i don’t know who drew it
sue me don’t sue me/you probably can’t sue me
but don’t please
a cheeky1 while someone’s in the room!
cheeky in the distance/corner of my eye
cheeky in the corner/go on and do a cheeky
get riled up and slide into the ring
slide up n freak out cos
it’s all momentum based
for me anyway/i got other things to say
verging on narcissism
thinkin about friends meetin friends n
how friends’d get on with each other n
how i called it
how i often want it
thinkin bout how it makes me happy.
i like bringing people together but do i
like bringing people together because
it makes them happy because they like each other now?
or do i like bringing people together because
they like me more now, because that makes me happy?
/scared of the latter but i suppose..
the idea of lining my pockets with
social capital, so-to-speak
walking away/won the day
sneering, popular/the art of the deal
am i scared that i am selfish, am i
ashamed of being selfish, am i
selfish/does it show?
why do people want to be loved/
will i ever know?
the debate consumes itself and myself and
i’m scared that i am selfish (OR i’m
scared of being seen as selfish which is a
not entirely but at least considerably
but i guess people who are scared of being selfish
are mostly, likely not,
or most likely, at least less selfish than
(objectively?)selfish people who don’t question
whether or not they are selfish
largely these concerns feel like
time wasted but
maybe one day i’ll learn something
hard to be/to feel authentic when faced with
an infinite, invisible audience
but some people can and relish in it
maybe it’s a culture of narcissism
manifested in content, some depthless
and some genuinely enjoyable/
brands scream love me and often
i agree, but often i can’t help but think
it’s bad for souls
behind the brands, and at the same time
i can’t help but feel bad that
i can’t scream good
maybe i’m just jealous