evening tangents

i’m like where’s this all coming from
maybe i’ve been like a sponge today
feeling vulnerable conscious
of some impending thing, looming over me
or the people i love, i’m conscious

and i’m blind n
staring longingly towards
dark distant plains
reaching for my telescope reaching
for my phone

greasy thumb and finger prints
oil and dirt, young bits i’ve gathered
scents and smudges left around by
fingertips and i won’t mind
you following, shadowing -i won’t mind
you smelling or touching
the places i touch, touching
the dirt that i leave behind, won’t mind
you tasting traces left
that i have no choice but to leave

grouchy, gaunt, ice cold n bony
posture in ruins, shuffles, will
punish you, this wiry, white haired
angular form
seeks to mould you into some rigid
obedient, frightened thing
but you have life and heat alive within you
abstract physics manifests, melts
demons and you bask in self worth
it moisturises your soul, trickles through and
your skin looks beautiful today
and you ARE clever, no matter how dumb

when things compromise the
authentic experience, n you sell out before your eyes
n no money changes hands only
temporary peace of mind
obscuring experience, consuming
how you create, it gets in the way
of true direction
postpones emotion, cloggs you

and authenticity in the outside world
too, as always is in peril.
outside, where vested interests slowly
change what you loved
as you watch from the ground, growing distance
loved platforms, once real rising slowly away
and you question the ground and indeed what you loved
while you watch it all rise, watch it gain visibility
and with all the exposure comes great compromise
more vested interest from uninterested places
that care not for authenticity
or what was real,
or real spirit

and you become powerless,
consuming, voiceless, no choice
but to be thankful for this saturated version
of where once you felt at home



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