untitled (JUST KIDDING)

don’t leave me hanging
it’s a blow to my wavering confidence
my shivering confidence, the little boy inside
who sometimes takes the form of a man who knows exactly
what he wants and what he thinks is right
and believes he is special and talented
and beautiful
and the man thinks back to the boy he was five minutes ago
and he loves that boy and channels him
and maybe my confidence wavers, yet
but i believe in myself
yet, at the same time doubting
the dimensions of my being bouting
so it’s like the scales are out of balance
on a windy day, at an angle, no
balancing precariously then falling
into a full, panicked descent
gravity. but there’s more to me than that
and nothing and no one is ever that simple!
so the scales smash into a thousand pieces
and i rejoice, no longer restricted
i’ve now transcended metaphor
and its remnants lie on the floor before me

i come to and watch you walk on
you smiled and walked away,
probably trying to remember my name
remembering that i was a nice young man
and maybe you fancied me too

just hi5 me next time

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